VieN: The Anti-hero

"The Antihero is someone with some of the qualities of a villain, up to and including brutality, cynicism, and ruthlessness, but with the soul or motivations of a more conventional Hero." [source: http://www.flowerstorm.net/disa/Gallery/anti-explain.html ]
Examples are; Raito Yagami (Death Note), Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass), Gregory House (House MD).

Basically, you can either love them or hate them. If you can read them like a book.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a "villain" in people's eyes.
Well, I kind of noticed this a long time ago. I know I've been harsh. I can't remember since when I adapted that attitude. Sometimes I intentionally do it to test people. If you can endure my sarcasm, then congratulations! You've passed!

Perhaps, I inherited this sarcastic behaviour from my mother. And the way I meant for it as a joke was often misunderstood as an insult because I have this serious shit look on my face. Some people are just too sensitive. But they had no idea that I have my own sensitivity too, which I barely show because I'm too secretive.

My own sensitivity may lead to a slip up due to my short temper. From being too cynical, I can become totally direct. I made my victim angry. I made a girl cry. But I didn't do it because I like it. Often I did it as a part of my vengeance - "you made me feel bad before, and this is how I repay you". If you cry because of what I said, then please think if what you said has a potential to hurt someone else. One can be sensitive, but only for him/herself but not to those around you.

Funny how I was condemn for stating something careless, but I was condemn again when I criticize someone else for being careless. When in truth I was siding the person who condemn me to make up for what I said. And when I finally have the spirit to cooperate, someone else was bursted the bubble. So I had to do something... something I failed to do and should have done during my previous leadership. I had to inflict a pressure, I had to exert a force. For a friend's sake and another.

...
But they saw me as an antagonist. They don't see the good beyond my poisonous words. They don't know, and they will never know. And I will never know but to only guess the wrongs I did. I am an anti-hero indeed.

I guess it's like I intentionally make people hate me because I think people are better off without a b1tch like me. I don't wanna be a friggin' important person in someone else's life. Let's say I fear the thing called 'attachment'. It's for the greater good, ne?

Indirectly, I seem to be portraying my alter-ego's (My Original Character; Agent Vulpine) given personality as a lone ranger kuudere. I think I'm reaching the goal.

Hate me all you want. I'm still a friend.
I permit you to talk badly of me behind my back, I don't mind. For I might do the same to you. But I will still be there as a friend.
I may have something against any of you, but that does not mean that I hate you so I continue treating you as normal. I don't believe in hating each other just because we're stupidly dislike each other's qualities. I'll still befriend you.
Even if you turn a blind eye to the friend in me, it does not stop me from being a friend.
I'm not biased, I'm not picky. I'm not the type that categorize who I should treat nicely or who I should treat badly. Regardless of the way I treat you, I treat you all the same. Isn't that what a 'friend' is supposed to be like? Go figure.
I don't care if you regard me otherwise. I'm an anti-hero after all.

In the end, only God is responsible for our judgement.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. There, I apologize. The remnants of the problem is up to you.

Last but not least; here's an important reminder. Don't bother celebrating the birth of this particular fiend. Don't waste your gil. Don't waste your time. I don't anyone to be forced to go for a yippie-yay partay when the fact is that they don't want to. I'm not worth it. I hurt people. A simple wish is more than enough. Present me some peace and quiet then I'll be happy.