Review: Strawberi Cinta

oh look! A meleis movie in my blog!

Why is this doing here? Because I'm somewhat enraged at how horrible it is and as a weeabo this NEEDS to be analyzed, so that you shallow meleis could see why it's really shitty cos I fukken hate it when you guys say "wah suwiiiit jerk citer nieyyy!!!".  Now I have no confidence that I have high readership but in case they stumble upon this post, be prepared.

I'm also prepared to be accused of being a race traitor - which is what meleis love to do when they're butthurt - even if they don't know what my actual race is.

Stolobeli Cinta is supposed to be a romantic COMEDY film, which I somewhat agree because the funniest part is listening to the half-assed effort of the actors of Japanese characters to speak in Japanese. And if I'm not mistaken I saw the tagline which says it's an Islamic themed film, which I think is another lousy excuse. Gonna explain later.

First 5 minutes into the movie I literally felt like crying because of two reasons; 1. a Japanese tourist wearing a so-called lolita clothes; 2. Her Japanese sounds like Korean who just went back from several Japanese classes. What makes them think all Japanese, or even lolita fan Japanese would visit another country wearing a costume is beyond me. Sometimes she wear those lensless glasses. Is that Japanese fashion?

I'm sure you anime people, even without attending to Japanese classes, know by now how the intonation and pronunciation of this language is like. You're so used to it that you find Yana Samsudin's Japanese makes you ears bleed. And they even tried to play with mispronunciation to be funny but since you know so well it's NOT how Japanese speak in katakana you know it's not even funny. Since the show is about foreign tourists of course there are some English, and the English is baaaaaad too.

Then we have the Japenis girl and the tourist guide, they just met by the way, seemingly have a crush on each other for no reason. Yeah yeah you can use the excuse that you don't need a reason to fall in love blablabla even Mr. Tourist guide admits that he felt something special - his statement reeks CREEPINESS rather than oh-so-sweeeeeet. Just because he's a tourist guide, he took the advantage to ask the Japenis girl out which makes him look like he's the type who'd just hit on any cute girl from the East. There's not much of backstory for him except that his dream is to eat icecream with a girl who likes stolobeli, and he even told that silly story to the Japenis girl and asked "Cute isn't it?".

NO.

THIS is how you're supposed to act:

owait-

Part of the reason I dislike Mr Tourist Guide is because I don't really like guys who takes advantage of his position to get some cute chic he just met at his job, and Pierre Andre is not even a hot stud so I find it weird why would this Japenis chic fall for him FOR NO REASON. And that's not even the worse of it because the way their relationship develop... you couldn't feel anything from it. Not sure how the meleis could feel it but after watching a lot of romantic animes/j-movie and reading manga of the same genre, you'd know Japanis Girl x Tourist Guide relationship is the most shallowest of all.

"A true man is a man who oves VANILLA" hwahahhaa omg is this supposed to be words of wisdom??

AND WHAT IS WITH THE FIRST NAME BASIS?? SEE HOW MUCH YOU FAIL METROWEALTH!!

Then they have the side characters, one is a weeabo and the other is Fiffy Natasha (the singer of kawaii kawaii handphone. the song is DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP). Yet another fail attempt to put comedic elements. Japenis girl and Fiffy Natasha makes very unconvincing Japanese persons cos they EPICLY FAILED to act like them. Seriously bitches do you even do your research?? It's okay if you're not a fan of Japanese dramas but is it so hard to take time to study them?? Memoirs of Geisha had Chinese actors to play the Japanese and they could pull it off!

You know what's worse? Okay now I can finally get to the main plot. So Japenis girl came to Malaysia to look for her mom (turns out her mom is Malay, and she's half-Japanese hwahahah but still no excuse to butcher moonspeak since you fucking live in Japan for 15 years), but the story itself, rather than making her focus on finding her mom we get to see her being a lovesick maiden. The part where she reunites with her mom is supposed to be emotional, but Malay actors still can't seem to act like they're truly crying so it didn't really work for me.

Another horrendous thing for me is how they wanted to insert Islamic values into the movie, which I think sounded more like reciting a religious studies textbook. And Mr Tourist Guide looks more like he wants to look more knowledgeable in Japenis Girl's eyes than actually knowing his shit. And he's pretty hipocritical at that. First he talks about how prayers bring you closer to God suddenly he gets turned on seeing Japenis Girl in Kebaya. It's like he wants to impress this random cute girl he just met and yet he violated the rule that as a Muslim he shouldn't be alone with a girl. Or maybe he's the kind of meleis who doesn't give a fuck about how a true believer should behave like. Oh that's pretty common.

And when she found her mom OH LOOK ANOTHER PADDY FIELD SCENE MY GOODNESS DIRECTORS DO YOU THINK ONLY PADDY FIELDS REPRESENT KAMPUNGS?!?!?! STOP THINKING INSIDE THE BOX AND GO OUT THERE LOOK FOR OTHER TYPES OF KAMPUNG ENVIRONMENT!!!

I believe the story would be more enjoyable if it wasn't for the horrendous Japanese language, horrendous way of acting like a Japanese person. It could've been better if the writers don't put too much attention on the 'romance' part (which turned out shitty) and focus on the Japanis Girl's main objective. And they could've killed off the side characters in a car accident or something. They made the film even worse. And I'd like to mention that the movie has the poorest character development I've ever seen. I really don't know how to explain this though but there's absolutely no moral values I can extract from the characters. I can't feel anything to relate with them, or learn something from their development just as I did with anime (or J-dramas).

So before you tell me that I'm just insulting and "macam mana melayu nak maju" etc then I just have to say YOU BROUGHT IT UPON YOURSELF. How would melayu maju if they cannot accept criticism and learn from mistakes? It's 2013 man, how long are you gonna keep that KUNO mindset? I believe what I said about the movie is true and I'm not the one insulting the movie, but the makers of this movie has insulted their own product and your beloved race... by baiting more insults from people with more sensible mindset? LOL

Here watch this: [EDIT: video replaced]

and tell me if Yana (and Fiffy) 'berlakon sebijik macam orang Jepun'.

I watched this online so no money's lost. Time is, but it's worth reviewing cos it's the best shitty movie ever.

EDIT: here's some reaction video