The Bolehland Culture

Today I will take a break from anime stuff and talk about a wonderful country called Bolehland. It is a multiracial country and has a very unique culture that can never be found in other places! So since it's a multiracial country obviously there are racist issues here and there. I'm so bad at intros so I'm gonna cut to the chase. Oh no this won't be the typical tourism post, I'm just gonna rant about the special things of Bolehland that many may not notice. Or too dumb to notice. Whatever.

Since I am one of the so-called natives of Bolehland, I would like to refer a subsection of the natives as "Meleis" (courtesy of 1Obefiend). I've exclude myself from being part of them because I'm one of the already evolved ones, and yet they'll be the main character of this story. So here we go!

1. Time Dilation Technique

I remember once we have a group camp back in matriculation college, before the day we depart to the camping site we had an assembly. A representative said to us "Tomorrow, you must assemble at the foyer 7am SHARP"

The next day, 7 am sharp, I was the only one at the foyer.

Apparently, according to Meleis culture; SHARP means at least 30 minutes from expected time, and it is "better late than never". They do not respect those who wait, but the person who wait is often too soft to get angry. In Meleis culture it is inappropriate to tell what the other did wrong, but it is okay to talk sh*t behind the person's back and allow him to keep doing the wrong thing.

FYI, this Time Dilation Technique is infectuous! I had not realized this until a few years back, where I was the only Malay in class and I'm always the first to arrive (see I told you that I am evolved)!Thus, it has become a Bolehland culture!

And sometimes they use this habit of theirs when they visit other countries. This may irritate foreigners but foreigners need to understand that time is NOT gold to Bolehlanders. Thank you Meleis, for sharing your secret technique!

2.  Respect Your Elders

Respect your elders regardless of how rude s/he is. Even if you want to share a new knowledge where the older generation did not earn, YOU CAN'T. You really can't show off that you're smarter because it would hurt their ego feelings. Yet they want the younger generations to study hard, encourage critical thinking, but when your opinion differs, you're just being disrespectful!

It is also okay for adults to be obnoxious towards younger people, whether or not the young ones show respect. They demand respect, yet as more experienced people, by their actions, are not setting a good example to youths so that they can follow. So how would the younger generation know the true meaning of respect if they keep doing that?

Because in Bolehland, "respect" means keeping quiet and let yourself be walked over.

3. The Way of Envy

When an evolved native (or even members of the other races) is financially or intelectually better than most, the Meleis get envious of him. But when they envy, they do not put an effort to become the same level as the evolved native. They insult him, spread bad rumours about him, or worse, bring him down.

And these Meleis sometimes see criticism as "envy" too. When they see a critic (rather than 'support'), they will ask you how will the race advance/develop if another member of the same race keep on criticizing them? It's just part of their culture for people to baby them, so it's completely okay to have a half-assed effort. Better than nothing, right?

4. Complaining means you're ungrateful

"hey this nasi goreng is tasteless, why not put a bit of salt"
"STFU YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!"

You just really can't question, criticize and offer suggestions (or hold a protest/demonstration) to the higher ups. The higher you go the more limited your vocab is, so they take that course of action as 'complaining'. Consequently, it breaches their ability to think in other perspectives that they'd label you for being ungrateful. Perhaps it is because they think that they're gods.

5. GTFO country

When you stir up trouble by criticizing Bolehland in any way, for instance, showing how ungrateful you are, Meleis who are not mentally evolved enough to come up with a sophisticated rebuttal would instantly tell you to get out of the country. Even worse if the person is of a race different from the natives, they're often told to go back to their respective countries where their great great grandparents belonged to.

The argument is very weak because these people and their generations have long lived in Bolehland, and oblivious to the culture of their 'original' country. In fact, it is a very invalid argument for this people have grown up and got used to things in Bolehland. But telling them to GTFO is the best thing Meleis can do (and I also found out that this can be infectious too)

6. Meleis are superior

Because they are God's chosen ones. There are no reference text for this because it's merely their own assumption.

7. Wormhole Digger

(aka, Wormhole Hunters, Wormhole Raiders, etc)
When you hurt a Meleis's butt, he is bound to tell you this: "aku akan cari kau sampai ke lubang cacing!" (translation: "I will find you even if i have to dig a worm hole!")

But don't worry, they will never find you. They're Meleis, they don't have that kind of motivation.
(as of now I am still waiting for a certain keyboard warrior to find me at the wormhole).

8. "Apology" means "Cowardice"

According to Malay Beliefs, when you did a huuuuuuuuuuuge mistake and apologize later, it means that you're a coward. This is why many Meleis (is this also infectuous?) love having a cold war with one another because the unapologetic attitude is very honourable and courageous. Yet they love to demand an apology, and when the person says sorry, other than calling him a coward you know what is even better?

They'll question his sincerety.

Perhaps apology is not enough, they'd expect these wrong-doers to exile or kill himself. Or find him deep in a wormhole to beat him up. Such sadistic people my unevolved fellow natives are.

The irony is, they call themselves Muslims, who believes in God (and believes that they're the chosen ones), and yet their belief contradicts to the Islamic way on forgiving others

i can't find a better screenshot lol

I think there are more silly things Bolehland has but I'll leave it up to here. If I get any ideas, there'l be part 2!
So if you're butthurt and is about to rage on the comments section, then CONGRATULATIONS! You've just proved that I am right! But if you're thinking "omg I can't believe I've been so horrible, I should change my attitude" then CONGRATULATIONS you're about to evolve into a pokemon! Forgive me for hurting your feelings then but it is what I intended.

You can call me a race traitor, sure I don't mind being exiled.
You can tell me to gtfo of Bolehland... would you care to sponsor me?
You can tell me that my mouth has no insurance/license, that's because I can't find any.
You can tell me "ingat ko bagus sangat?", no, I am not, but I know I'm definitely better than you.
[Edit: tak puas hati? Talk to my representative here]

oh don't get me wrong, I love my Bolehland. It's just that I hate this kind of people aaaaand of course there are people better than this lot. So do visit the country on your next vacation - think of the FOOD! The food is great here.

Now back to henshin-ing myself into a Japunis.