Review: Steins; Gate

Since I heard that this anime was good, I decided to try it out. At first I was reluctant because it was based on a visual novel. Note that I usually find VN or Light Novel adaptations rather dull.

Studio: White Fox

Also note that, though I am a science student, I am not a fan of science fiction... especially when it comes to time travel. You know, being fed with logic makes you think time travel stories are shit, no matter how good they are, and I have no guilt concluding that before even watching/reading them (no offense to Dr. Who fans). And it was all DragonBall's fault, really.

Then Stein;Gate brings science fiction to a whole another level, and this, is so far the only and the BEST time travel themed story I've ever seen. And the theories used made me forget that S;G was really an adaptation of a dating sim game although it's clear that there are girls who are after the main guy, Okabe Rintarou (codename: Hououin Kyoma). If I want to mention who the harem girls are; then you have one genius who's a mild tsundere, one derp girl for a childhood friend, one not-so-epic trap, one idiotically loyal yandere, a moe-moe maid ojou-sama and... John Titor...

John Titor also makes a cameo. Instead of IBM we have IBN, instead of CERN we have SERN.

i remember doing this in the microprocessor lab....

So the story is about an aspiring mad scientist, who apparently isn't going to school or perhaps he was on a summer break, and he has a Future Gadget Lab which is basically just a rented apartment. His lab partner is Daru, the programmer/hacker guy... and for some stupid reason he recruited the derp childhood friend. Thanks to her derp-ness, Kyoma found a way to practically time travel. And seriously this made me smile like an idiot whenever I'm holding my phone in front of the microwave. And we also can joke about irl conspiracy theories with D-mail. Owait, what is a D-mail? Oh it's just a text message we can send to the past in order to change history... it's common in time travel stories, desu ne? But there's something else in S;G that makes this history change not really a change. 

Anyway, thanks to his discovery SERN decided to hunt him down. Before that there was a lot of past changing stuff, which is rather touching in some cases. And sometimes annoying and frustrating. But I gotta tell you that there are a lot of plot twist, which I think makes the story even more intriguing.

However, suddenly the ending looks like just another typical time travel thing... maybe it's the stuff about avoiding peril in the future kind of problem. Well, if that's just easy then why not time travel to prevent all these wars and massacre from happening?

Yet that doesn't change my mind about how good the anime is.

i love being a physicist XD

oh man this is just another lame review huh....

Review: Kaichou wa Maid-sama!

[WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS]

[don't be fooled my the promotional image. Sure looks disgusting to me...]

Kaichou wa Maid-sama (The President is a Maid!) is about a very stern female seitoukacihou President of Student Council who works part-time as a waitress in a maid café. For those who don’t know, it’s not the kind of maid you hire from Indonesia (no offense intended), but the kind of servant that is dressed in fancy French Maid costume. A particular community in Japan have this fetish therefore a maid café is opened to satisfy their fandom. Though the kaichou is oblivious to the fact that this interest comes from anime, she just had to work since her dad left her family with massive amount of debt. At least she didn’t sell her body. However, she had to keep this after school activity a secret in order to maintain her reputation at school. Until that gorgeous heartbreaker in school found out, that’s when she starts to get paranoid.

Misaki Ayuzawa – She worked her arse off to become the school president in order to be a representative of the girls welfare in that school. The school she enrolled to used to be a boys’ school, and when it turns into co-ed it’s hard for the girls to get used to the environment. Moreover that the school lacks testosterone but have that untrustworthy masculine aura instead. She’s obviously biased towards her female schoolmates, while she poses as a 'demon' towards the men. In order to help her mom who doesn't seem to be affected by the disappearance of her husband, she works as a waitress in the maid café where she’s known as Misa-chan. Misaki doesn’t give a crap about looking feminine, all that matters is that she’s happy with the way she is; a tsundere.

[kakkoi!!]

Takumi Usui – The hottest guy in school in the eyes of the blind girls who knew nothing of him yet straight away confess only ending up with tears. Honestly, I don’t see what’s so charming about this guy. I know even the manga version of him, he can’t even rival the bishounen-ness of the Host Club boys (Ouran) [NOT EVEN THIS]. In terms of personality, he’s rather bland to the point that his mischief doesn’t work at all. For some reason, he keeps Misaki’s secret for his own entertainment and becomes a regular at the maid café just to stalk Misa-chan. I gotta agree with Misaki that he’s a “perverted alien”. I’m always annoyed with the type of characters that are illogically perfect. But then again, Usui isn’t really the ideal man anyway. He doesn’t give a crap about other people unless Misaki is involved; I don’t see this as romantic but... "HE'S THE WORST"

[doesn't this makes you wanna punch him in the face??]

The Three Idiots – The only people other than Usui from Misaki’s school who knows of her dark secret. This comic relief gang became fans of Misa-chan right after she PWN’d them in the first episode. It’s hard to believe they were former delinquents and could even laugh about their sorry past.

Other characters include the BFFs, the fangirling cafe manager, a shota trap internet idol, J-rocker, a gynophobic (possibly) gay dude and a glutton childhood friend cum "a new challenger!".

Initially, I was impressed by how the story portrays a strong, independent girl with aikido skills to defend herself. Misaki is awesome in so many ways, and can almost pass of as a “Knight in Shining Armour”. This was further satisfied by the ‘Momotaro’ episode and the butler café challenge. Unfortunately, towards the end the story begins tumble like a rock rolling down a high steep. I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that the tsundere weakness is gradually revealed, or it could be because of the subtle reverse harem. As for the ending, didn’t quite like the idea where the pair is somehow forced to participate in an activity for ‘couples’. I’m pretty sure this is overused, and to me it’s a lousy excuse to make them be together. And not to forget the idea where Misaki keeps getting fanboys now and then... Which is kind of typical for shoujo manga to make the heroine loved by plenty of weirdos regardless of her lack of qualities as a girlfriend/wife. I wasn’t satisfied with the final half of the season, and it’s really a disappointment because I had truly enjoyed the earlier episodes.

[Just one of those costumes this tsun is forced to wear cos everything needs MOE now... h-hey! what are you looking at?]

Nothing special about the OP and ED, but I’d like to point out that the ED sequence kept hinting Usui’s origins or past, but NEVER in the anime had it revealed anything about him. I’m pretty much angry about this too.

INB4 GOREADMANGA.

Nah, I’d rather not. I hate Usui anyway.

p/s: sorry can't help it but this is my favourite scene 8D
pps: honestly, I really do hate Usui. Stop calling me a tsundere DX

I keep telling you to be strong....

...but instead you chose to depend on to a man you just met.

We, a bunch of us, are always there for you, more than a single random guy who puts on a romanticist facade for the sake of first impression.

As a friend, I am deep down... offended... that you ignored words of advice from the ones who knew you longer and hang out with you more... that you seek company and entertainment to fill in your 'empty space' from a new acquaintance. How sure are you that he is trustworthy?


***

If someone says that he or she is lonely (for being single), then it's an utter BULLSHIT. Because s/he already has supporting friends and loving family. But I pity him/her for turning a blind eye towards their existence, or simply use them as listening ears to express their illusion of happiness and shoulders to cry on when their 'lovers' betray them. In the end you crawl back to your friends, but at the same time you worship your lover like a god. Speaking of which, you even pray to God to legalize adultery (even if it's just minor things like holding hands).

***

I admit that I've been in a relationship before. But it's already been MORE THAN ONE YEAR of being single and I didn't give a fuck about being lonely. I AM NOT DESPERATE to have boyfriends or look for future husbands. Becos I realize that I should appreciate the existence of those who genuinely love me and make my days meaningful - and it does not have to be a 'significant other'.

but I'll always be loyal to my hime-sama *___*

***

Even if I disapprove, I'll protect you no matter what.

You have no idea... no idea how worried I am... u__u

***
I'm disappointed, really. You're a smart girl. But you're not strong as I am. I'm sorry....
(i know i'm cowardly that I'm not able to confront her IRL, but I just feel like writing this. not that I mind if she comes across this...)

p/s: this post makes me look like I have multi-personality disorder O_O

Kenapa aku tak nak "Couple"

Di sini aku ingin menulis dalam dwibahasa. Mungkin rojak. Dan juga aku nak bagi sikit warning. At the end of this post you may see how twisted my mind is and I do expect a lot of you to try and neutralize my thoughts. But I let me tell you first that I won't give a damn about your opposition, so don't even bother with your 'shallow' advice. I won't listen.

[gambar utk hiasan je lol]

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Firstly, I don't really deny that I may be able to like someone. I have a crush, I get attracted to hot guys, I'm infatuated by fictional bishonens/pretty boys, and I have favourite male celebrities. However, that does not necessarily mean that I desire a relationship with a guy. And that does not mean that I'm homosexual either. And I don't deny that I like seeing romantic relationship between characters which are not real. It's just a scary thought to be in one. And when I observe real life ones, I can't help but to have a bit of doubts (though in my heart I pray for their happiness).

Dulu aku pernah couple. Nasib baik orang yang aku suka tu yang confess kat aku dulu. 4-5 tahun dulu aku dah ada twisted opinion about couple2 ni. Tapi oleh sebab tak boleh tahan perasaan, aku terima declaration dia. Bila dah couple, tak rasa cam couple pon. aku tak tau samada dia serius ke tak. Dah ler tak call, tak mesej. Makin murung aku sebab tak dilayan. Aku tension gak nape dia nak hide sangat hubungan kita. Lepas tu pulak, hanya berlagak cam couple bila jumpa, bila tak jumpe mcm dilupakan terus.

Aku pulak cam bodo. Kononnya nak terima pasangan aku seadanya. Segala benda tak elok dia tak buat, dan segala kebaikan dia abaikan - aku tak tegur pon. Apa yang aku tak puas hati, I kept it inside. Takot dia marah. Takot dia panggil aku hipokrit. Tapi oleh sebab sifat penakut ni la buat dia amik kesempatan kat aku. Dia buat camtu pon aku tak tau nak marah camne. And his self-centered behaviour caused me to defy my mom. Is that what you're supposed to look for in a partner? I felt like a toy (confirms to be true after I got dumped). All this makes me even more and more depressed, and made me think "kalo dah camni kita, bila dah kawen nnt camne lak?". And I know I'm not quite your ideal girlfriend. Aku tak terer nak manja atau gedik. Maybe I tried but I still have my emotionless/cool self. Maybe I tried too hard but failed?

After the break up, it's obvious that I got sad. Like it's the end of the world. My friends have seen how my depression affected my daily lives; now I'm ashamed of myself that they had to see me like that. I thank them for being supportive. Anyways, after breaking up, it confirms my long ago opinion of "The one who hurts you the most is the one you love most". Correct, no? I'm sure it applies to most of you. You may think that your significant other is the source of your happiness, but once s/he hurt you (even a lil bit), it's a very big deal to you. So how do I avoid from getting extremely hurt? By not showering ultimate love to any non-family members you like. Easy, no?

It's human nature to love and be loved. Yes. I know. But I think I should limit myself to one-sided love (which makes me feel genuinely happy and I'm not doing any effort to menagih cinta) and my family members love me. So what more could I ask?

okay from the God forsaken relationship, I've observed and analyzed my behaviour as a 'girlfriend'. It's just too bad that I'm not girly nor sporty, but more towards nerdy and weird in terms of psychological thinking. Pastu aku jenis tak suka share buah fikiran tentang topik tertentu, dan aku tak suka share sangat pasal benda yang aku gilakan (contoh video game apa yang sedang dimain). Cakap pasal video game, bila dah depan PS2 tu aku lupa segala manusia yang wujud disekelilingku. Looks like I prioritize video games more than a boyfriend (alah, ex aku pon bazir duit main online game, bila nak date dgn aku ckp takde duit =_=. He owes me big monehh).

Nak kata aku leh jadi gf orang dgn cara tersendiri? Then setakat jadi awek orang je la. Kalo bab nak jadi potential wife, sori la. Aku mana pandai masak. Aku tak kemas bilik. Aku suka menyendiri - entah nak layan suami kat katil ke tak lol. Bila nak kerjakan hobi aku, aku tak suka orang tengok. Aku tak suka orang persoalkan apa aku buat dan objektifnya. Soalan simple cam 'ko tengah buat apa tu?' pon sudah cukup untuk buat aku rasa terganggu.

Pastu yang tak bleh blah pasal couple ni.... sebelum ada awek/balak sume nye ok. Skali dah ada partner, satu hari tak jumpe dah rindu. Pastu bila gadoh/clash mula la fikir "I can't live without you" la blablabla. LOL I used to think that way, and I'm laughing at my past self. Lawak la jadi org ketagih cinta ni. I have ego which turns me into a tough girl. I can't live without you are for wusses. Weak. Pathetic. Useless. Ungrateful cretins. Imbecile.

You forgot - Your family is fukken there and God watches over you.

Alrighty, God comes into the paragraph.
I know I'm in no place to preach, but let me just say what I need to say. I don't care if you call me a hypocrite, because I believe everyone is one.
Bila dah bercinta dengan manusia lain, kita sering lupa Allah. Well, kadang2 tu ada korang sebut korang doakan kebahagiaan antara korang berdua daripada-Nya. Tapi kalo dah belum kawen tu, betul ke cara tu ek? Aku tak kisah la kalo korang nak suka menyukai dan kononnya pandai2 elakkan 'zina', tapi kalo dah sentuh2 tu korang mesti lupa hukumnya haram. Pastu yang xleh blah gak, baru je kapel beberapa bulan dah act like husband and wife. Contohnya dah siap plan nak namakan anak apa, nak rumah camne, nak kereta camne. Lagi2 yang perempuan jadi semangat gila nak jadi isteri terbaik. Macam dah konfem je laki/pompuan tu bakal suami/isteri ko. Lain la kalo korang dah buat solat istikharah... tapi aku tau tak ramai yg buat ni. Asal dapat, dapat la. Laki pulak, belum habis study dah nak serius giler. Belum tau keje apa kelak.

Bila dah patah hati... mula la merungut... stuff like, "God does not love me". But ask yourself first, did you love God? Itu persoalannya. Sila fikir baik2 why did you deserve that fate...

one more thing... bila korang couple... and bila korang berada di sisi pasangan anda... are you aware of the devil? Ada makhluk yang cuba nak bawak korang ke arah yang salah. Ingat tu.

And I'm not saying this just because I have only one failed relationship. Like I said earlier, I already have this kind of thinking even before I had a boyfriend. And I conclude this from my observation/analysis on others' relationships as well.

Okay, sampai la ke point nape aku taknak couple:
1. i'm obsessed with my privacy. I don't want anyone to invade my space.
2. I suck at being gedik or girly.
3. Aku malas nak risau pasal hal orang lain (kekasih) sedangkan masalah sendiri belum diselesaikan lagi. Baik aku risau pasal hal sendiri.
4. tak nak rasa depress bila dibuang. I'd rather not risk it.
5. Malas nak menagih cinta. Taknak rasa cam orang lemah.
6. Sesungguhnya orang yang menyayangi anda lebih ramai (kawan2 dan keluarga) lebih ramai daripada sekor manusia yang 'mencintai' anda.
7. Elakkan maksiat (walopun aku tau aku still buat maksiat lain). Kalo berjaya elakkan sex, tak semestinya boleh lari daripada sentuh menyentuh dan berpelukan. Geli siot. Depends on kekuatan mental/iman anda, anytime setan bole bisik kat pasangan suruh 'terlanjur'.
8. aku tak percaya laki zaman sekarang.

entah apa lagi mau tambah. ni je sempat aku fikirkan kot. (kalo ada apa2 yang lain aku edit je).

Hah. tu la. Belum masuk topik "Kenapa aku tak nak kawen" lagi. Tu dah lain citer. Ada kerajinan dan semangat aku tulis la.

And if you wanna start typing "Don't worry, you'll find your true love" then DON'T! Sebab aku dah nyampah dengan 'nasihat' tu. It's sickening. Kalo ada orang letak jugak ayat tu dan sewaktu dengannya... then be prepared to get nuclear bomb from me. I don't expect you to agree with me either.

I've voiced out my opinion. Forgive me if you're offended.

Suki...desu ka?

Actually I found this in my draft. I fancy rereading it. It feels like reading someone else's post. I think I shouldn't keep it locked up forever so here I set it free!


-----

My insides have been slowly freezing perhaps below zero degrees, although I continued breathing. Unexpectedly I am able to survive without the so called 'sunlight', because I have a bunch of colourful fireflies and around me. Then I re-vowed to keep my guard up again, but at the same time just enjoying a few eye-candy and have fun with a virtual hubby >///>

I'm so scared to death to get hurt by happiness, which I myself assume would only last temporarily.

....

I was somehow elected to be involved in something big and serious, but the night I wanted to back out was also the night I came to get interested and agreed to fight together due to sympathy. I feel like I was forced to join, and I forced myself to join... pawned by the lead.

fine fine... it's just work. Then I'll work for experience although I know how lousy and inefficient I am, but I guess I'll just fill in the blanks. However, I regret not proposing for a partner (although I have many subordinates that I couldn't depend on too much..?) as I know I can't work alone. But somehow my ego wants to show the world that I am independent. Look what happens now, I suffer a solitary challenge. I have to endure it... Doing work with a few ounces of sincerety.

...

And for some reason it was worth it...?

....

In the first few serious discussion, we were randomly seated. Suggestions, opinions, ideas exchanged...notes written down, taking orders...faking enthusiasm..? Some interesting word pop up, a feel several taps on my shoulder. How annoying. I turned to response, and was inquired by a colleague what the word means. A new found acquaintance though we had lived in the same area for a year. I answered, coldly at first... but he still have no clue what it was. Somehow...I find it very...adorable.

....

And what is with this random lock-eyes?? Forget it, Vulpy, it's probably a coincidence. Jangan perasan la orang pandang, bak kata Prof Roslan. (nak perasan jugak!!)

....

I barely have enough friendliness to join a colleague in a meal...except for this case. Probably faking friendliness.... or just simply acting normal... or just wanna take this chance to...to talk to him. >///> ...and discover more of his cuteness.

And in other serious events, I did the almost same tactic for my own pleasure. And take other oppurtunities acting subtle as usual. I'm probably desperate... but I guess i need some entertainment. For fun for fun!

And telling this to Jo made me realize that I'm having a major crush. No I am so not in love...i told myself to stay away already. I don't wanna get married!

There was once this time-stopping moment, which Jo said it was a 'flirt'. But can I deny that?

Then comes a night to remember... although I hate more than half of it, mostly due to the fact I couldn't finish revising for test, but I am glad that I forced myself to go...

Only telling me some minor stuff which he didnt tell others... (okay another perasan mode!) then displaying other cute stuff. And took a glimpse of his serious face which is KAKKOI! Actually, that night I was playing cold again, choosing a random chair... but automatically he chose to sit next to me. Coincidence kot. I chose to be in denial again. Face it...I'm probably the only colleague he is comfortable with...so I could be just a friend to LOL with during a boring discussion. We're rude, I know. And little do I expect random things that comes from my mouth is responded with something more than I could ask for (up to the point I asked him to stop lol cos the rudeness towards others is just too much).

...I couldn't sleep that night. BECAUSE I CONSUMED SOME CAFFEINE, OKAY??

It's not like I'm in cloud nine or anything >///>

...or am I? Now I'm starting to get worried. I thought I could just remain it as a crush but my feelings betray me by stepping up to another level. And I DO NOT WANT to admit it. Because I know after this ends, our bond will end with a 'poof' too. And we may not ever see each other again in the coming months... there goes another eyecandy. But I usually don't worry this much over an eyecandy. O_O;;

Jo told me to confess.

That idea doesn't sound to bad...but Hey I'm not that daring/straight-forward. (i am a tsundere, ne?)

I'm not even sure about my feelings either... I could've made the wrong move or fall for the wrong person (whoops I've said it!). I've always fear the risk of getting rejection, and the more reason I want to GTFO.

It will end soon. Knowing that, I can't help feeling a little pinch in my guts. This cannot be serious... T_T

-----

Hmm I don't exactly remember when I wrote that. but worry not, things are pretty much fine now. I have made my decision!

Although I still like him, I have no desire to capture him as my significant other or whatsoever. Thinking about the way I was in my previous relationship, it is clear that I am obsessed with my own privacy and I wouldn't want anyone to invade my space (be it physically or mentally). Meaning, I like to keep things to myself. Even if I am involved in a new relationship, chances are that I won't be able to tell a boyfriend everything - since today's trend of having boyfriends is to treat them like 'husbands' (even if you do not commit adultery, what difference would it make when you marry?).

I find bliss in one-sided affection. Yes, call me weird...... but I am! XD
I'm satisfied with our friendship. Besides, there is one thing about him that turned me off. Maybe I'd confess to him at a critical moment - where it should be (almost) impossible for us to go one step further. But the impossible is pretty much obvious already considering the difference of our heritage and beliefs. D:

In conclusion: I WANNA BECOME AN OLD LADY LIVING WITH 30+ CATS!!
(xde kaitan pon hwahahaha!)